The Quiet Superpower of “No”

I used to think “yes” was a survival strategy.

Yes to extra stress.

Yes to people who drained me.

Yes to friendships that were one sided, just me auditioning for an ounce of approval I wasn’t destined to get. 

Every “yes” felt like keeping the peace, but really it was me disappearing. Disappearing into myself. What I didn’t know back then? Saying “no” isn’t selfish. It’s a quiet superpower.

The first time I said “no,” it felt like I was betraying someone. My chest tightened, my brain clanged and banged. I half expected the world to end right then and there.

Spoiler Alert: It didn’t. What did happen? I felt a little spark of myself come back.

Saying “no” isn’t shutting people out. It’s keeping a little space sacred for you. It’s choosing rest over resentment. It’s choosing honesty over obligation.

The truth is, the people who love you won’t crumble when you set a boundary. The ones who do? They weren’t in it for you anyway, they were in it for what your “yes” gave them.

“No” is powerful because it makes room for your “yes” to mean something. If I say yes now, it’s because I want to; not because I’m scared you’ll leave if I don’t. That’s not survival. That’s living.

So here’s my advice: let “no” be part of your vocabulary. Let it sit heavy and quiet in the air if it has to. You don’t owe explanations, essays, or footnotes. A simple “no” is enough. 

If people don’t like that? That’s their prerogative. That’s a them problem, not a you problem.

Because sometimes the strongest thing you can say isn’t “I’ll try,” or “maybe,” or “sure.”

Sometimes the strongest thing you can say is simply: “No.”

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.