The Myth of Productivity

There’s this lie we’ve all agreed to tell ourselves: that productivity equals worth. That if you can cross off every item on your to-do list, you somehow become more valid, more successful, more human. Spoiler alert: that’s garbage. Productivity is a moving finish line; the closer you get, the further it runs. And for those of us who live with ADHD, anxiety, or just a regular case of being human, chasing that finish line can feel like running a marathon on a treadmill. Exhausting, and you never actually get anywhere.

As someone whose ADHD has been in 4K lately, I really have come to abhor to-do lists. Because it’s a reminder of things I still need to do and a running tab on things I haven’t done. When that list gets longer, my AD4K Paralysis has a stronger hold. For a while I used to-do lists to point me in the right direction of my tasks for a single day. But here’s something the lists don’t tell you; when you start your day with a to-do list, something always happens. Tasks get added. Tasks you probably didn’t sign up for. So you have three options:

1. Add it to your “To-Do List” and go on about your damn day.

2. Don’t add it to your “To-Do List” and say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Tomorrow. Aka, the mythical land where I suddenly become organized.

3. Don’t add it to your “To-Do List” and do it anyway as an adhoc item.

The thing that becomes tricky with to-do lists is triggering your ADHD Paralysis. Becoming overwhelmed too quickly.

What works best for me, although let’s be honest here, it’s hit or miss, is breaking up the tasks into manageable chunks. Not looking at it as a whole, because that’s overwhelming, but in fragments. Managing your time is also good. But let’s again be honest here. Time to AD4K people is really more of a suggestion. Not based on the reality of how our brains work. But if you’re able to set timers for yourself for a specific task, do it. It can work, but it’s definitely not easy.

At the end of the day, productivity is never going to be the thing that proves my (or your) worth. My to-do list doesn’t get to define whether I’m lovable, successful, or enough. Sometimes I’ll crush the list, sometimes I’ll lose the list, and sometimes the list will just laugh at me from across the room. That’s fine. Because the real myth isn’t that I’m behind, it’s that anyone is ever fully “caught up.” We’re all just figuring it out, one unfinished list at a time.

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Fears I’ve Overcome, Fears I’m Still Wrestling, and Fears That Make Me Nope Right Out

Fear is a weird roommate. Sometimes it pays rent, sometimes it eats your snacks, and sometimes it just stares at you while you try to live your life. Over the years, I’ve learned which fears I can evict, which ones I’m still negotiating with, and which ones I’m not even opening the door for.

Fears I’ve Overcome

• Turning out like people who’ve hurt me.
  I used to think certain traits were inherited like bad knees. But healing taught me I can break the cycle without breaking myself.

• Thinking I’m unlovable.
  I’m not unlovable. I’m just a limited-edition model. Not everyone can handle the deluxe features. That’s okay.

• Taking my shirt off at the pool.
  This was a big one. Body image has been a whole journey, but I’ve learned my worth isn’t tied to the amount of fabric covering me.

Fears I’m Still Working On

• Flying.
  I had a full-on panic attack on a plane years ago and had to get off. Before that, I hadn’t flown since I was a teenager—so, a 22-year gap. I’ve flown since, but my body still remembers the panic before it remembers the progress.

• Elevators.
  Never been stuck in one, but my brain invented a fake memory to justify avoiding them. I try to push myself now, but if that elevator pauses for more than three seconds, I’m already planning my obituary.

Fears That Make Me Go: “Nope.”

• Being buried alive.
  Who would willingly sign up for that?

• Anything that can kill me in one bite.
  Self-preservation, babe.

• Caves.
  I’ve seen The Descent. That’s a hard pass.

• Catacombs.
  I’ve seen As Above, So Below. Also a hard pass.

Fear doesn’t disappear overnight. Some of it leaves quietly. Some of it takes years to evict. And some? Some you just learn to walk around, give a polite nod, and say, “Not today.”

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.

The Myth of Being “Caught Up”

You ever have those days where you swear you’re catching up, like “Oh, look at me, functioning,” and then you realize you’re either about to start the whole thing over again or you were nowhere near as done as you thought you were?

That’s the myth of catching up.

Especially for us neurodivergent folks, thanks to a little gremlin I call AD4K Paralysis. I don’t like her much. She’s rude, unreliable, and shows up exactly when I can’t afford her drama.

Then comes the shame spiral. Even if you did a lot that day, it still doesn’t feel like enough because you can see the mountain you still have to climb. It’s exhausting and, frankly, annoying as hell.

Sometimes, I can outmaneuver her by breaking my day into smaller chunks. A little structure for the chaos. Us neurospicy types often need that scaffolding.

But with ADHD Paralysis, or in my case AD4K Paralysis, it’s hit or miss. Some days the chunks work. Other days, they just sit there on the list, mocking me in bullet-point form.

Still, here’s the truth:

I’m not done, boo. Not by a long shot. And that’s okay.

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.