Mental Health & Healing, Personal Reflections, Humor in Healing Dereck Pritchard Mental Health & Healing, Personal Reflections, Humor in Healing Dereck Pritchard

Fears I’ve Overcome, Fears I’m Still Wrestling, and Fears That Make Me Nope Right Out

Fear is a weird roommate. Sometimes it pays rent, sometimes it eats your snacks, and sometimes it just stares at you while you try to live your life. Over the years, I’ve learned which fears I can evict, which ones I’m still negotiating with, and which ones I’m not even opening the door for.

Fears I’ve Overcome

  • Turning out like people who’ve hurt me.
    I used to think certain traits were inherited like bad knees. But healing taught me I can break the cycle without breaking myself.

  • Thinking I’m unlovable.
    I’m not unlovable. I’m just a limited-edition model. Not everyone can handle the deluxe features. That’s okay.

  • Taking my shirt off at the pool.
    This was a big one. Body image has been a whole journey, but I’ve learned my worth isn’t tied to the amount of fabric covering me.

Fears I’m Still Working On

  • Flying.
    I had a full-on panic attack on a plane years ago and had to get off. Before that, I hadn’t flown since I was a teenager—so, a 22-year gap. I’ve flown since, but my body still remembers the panic before it remembers the progress.

  • Elevators.
    Never been stuck in one, but my brain invented a fake memory to justify avoiding them. I try to push myself now, but if that elevator pauses for more than three seconds, I’m already planning my obituary.

Fears That Make Me Go: “Nope.”

  • Being buried alive.
    Who would willingly sign up for that?

  • Anything that can kill me in one bite.
    Self-preservation, babe.

  • Caves.
    I’ve seen The Descent. That’s a hard pass.

  • Catacombs.
    I’ve seen As Above, So Below. Also a hard pass.

Fear doesn’t disappear overnight. Some of it leaves quietly. Some of it takes years to evict. And some? Some you just learn to walk around, give a polite nod, and say, “Not today.”

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Read More
Neurodivergence & ADHD, Productivity Myths, Humor in Healing Dereck Pritchard Neurodivergence & ADHD, Productivity Myths, Humor in Healing Dereck Pritchard

The Myth of Being “Caught Up”

You ever have those days where you swear you’re catching up, like “Oh, look at me, functioning,” and then you realize you’re either about to start the whole thing over again or you were nowhere near as done as you thought you were?

That’s the myth of catching up.

Especially for us neurodivergent folks, thanks to a little gremlin I call AD4K Paralysis. I don’t like her much. She’s rude, unreliable, and shows up exactly when I can’t afford her drama.

Then comes the shame spiral. Even if you did a lot that day, it still doesn’t feel like enough because you can see the mountain you still have to climb. It’s exhausting and, frankly, annoying as hell.

Sometimes, I can outmaneuver her by breaking my day into smaller chunks. A little structure for the chaos. Us neurospicy types often need that scaffolding.

But with ADHD Paralysis, or in my case AD4K Paralysis, it’s hit or miss. Some days the chunks work. Other days, they just sit there on the list, mocking me in bullet-point form.

Still, here’s the truth:

I’m not done, boo. Not by a long shot. And that’s okay.

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Read More
Intro Dereck Pritchard Intro Dereck Pritchard

Welcome to Dereckulous.com!

Hi, I’m Dereckulous. This is my little corner of the internet where poetry meets podcasts, where stories are messy, honest, and sometimes a little unhinged.

Bearly Functional (Podcast) started as an idea during one of those “what am I even doing?” days. You know the ones — when the to-do list is winning, the coffee isn’t strong enough, and your brain is running thirteen browser tabs you never opened. I needed a space to make sense of it all, and to share the kind of moments that don’t usually get airtime: the awkward, the heartfelt, the beautifully human.

Here you’ll find:

  • Poems straight from my notebook, unpolished enough to feel real, but written with intention.

  • Personal stories from my life as a queer, neurodivergent creative.

  • Thoughts on connection, mental health, and why I think chaos is secretly kind of beautiful.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re just holding it together with duct tape and good intentions, you’re in the right place. Pull up a chair, grab your favorite drink, and make yourself at home.

Because being “bearly functional” is still being functional, and you might just find there’s more beauty in that than you think.

© Dereck Pritchard, 2025. All Rights Reserved.

Read More